Thursday, December 31, 2009

resolusi istri gue

gedein anak
penuhin bimbelnya (200)
bahagiain ortunya
selalu buat tersenyum org2 d dktnya

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Boderlands PC Game Workaround: Side-by-side and Cannot Save (Windows Vista)

Problem:  Side-by-side error (cannot start the game).
Solution:  Download and install Visual C++ 2008 SP1.

Problem:  Cannot save (no save data or start from beginning everytime you exit dan restart the game):
Solution:  Modify the shortcut icon:
  1. Right-click the shortcut icon at desktop - Properties
  2. Go to "Shortcut" tab, input "-nohomedir" (without the app sign) at Target, should look like this: "C:\Program Files\Borderlands\Binaries\Borderlands.exe" -nohomedir
  3. Go to "Compatibility" tab, check "Run this program as an administrator"
  4. Play and the game will autosave everytime you exit.  Make sure to make the profile at the first New-U Station (10 seconds into the game).
Hope this helps.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Year 2009 Review

Every year, at this time of the year, I sit and think and write about the passing year.  I promised to do it every week, but I can't seem to get it right.  Not even every month.  But every year, on a holiday, can do.

It is more interesting to see it from an airplane sight than day to day operation.  It is easier to think that way.  Some say that the goals are lofty, but in a sense, the goals just worked out themselves in an unpredictable fashion.  In a sense, the goals reached themselves.  As a man, maybe I'm doing nothing, and let my genius do the thing.  (No, I'm not a genius, I'm only a human.)

This is a list of achievements that I reached in 2009 (in no particular order, and not to brag):
  1. Get someone to marry me.  Ha ha ha...  :D
  2. Make a new home with that someone. (continued next year)
  3. Get a child who will call me father. (continued next year)
  4. Get out from a rat race. (into the space!  up up and away!)
  5. Build a education course with several good people (see betasmartbimbel.com).
  6. Finish the ultimate level of telling the value of someone else's property (valuation's USP).
  7. Watch Avatar in 3D. (just kidding!)
Before talking about next year, I need to make sure that I have a life goal, that is what the hell am I doing down in this earth at this age of information?  What is my purpose?!  I do NOT believe in a personal God, so don't tell me anything about a religion.  But I'm like it or not quite a spiritual guy (in a sense), what do you call a person who likes to be alone and meditate and believe in a genius?  An egghead?  :D (just kidding!)

My purpose is to be the best I can be in all aspects of life and afterlife (yes, I believe in an afterlife).  To be the best, I must (like it or not) weed out some good things that restrain my potential.  I believe that most humans are born egoists (see two-year olds, there are many in my bimbel).  So, rather that fight it and be a martyr, I better use that born-potential.  You see, I can't win alone.  It's a no-go and a dead-end.  In order to be the best, I need people that is also the best, in a community that is also the best.  In order to be in a good afterlife, "I" need to good deeds, one of them is to care for others.  So... you go figure out.

Back to topic, to be the best we must leave out the good ones that restrain our potential.  OK, that means a lot of sacrifice must be made.  And I am very sorry for people affected by my actions and may them can cope with their losses and get a better successor.

To be the best doesn't mean I'm a perfectionist.  Far from it, I believe in the complexity of nature and the plant and grow principles.  You can't push a plant to grow before it's time.  Not even a fish, but my arowana somehow grow so fast that maybe I must change his aquarium next year.  I believe in pursuing the best seed.  And the nature can take care the rest.

To be the best it's twofold: in this world and in afterlife.  For the first, as you all very concern of, this world is all about money.  Almost all services can be bought.  Best education can be bought.  Best people can be bought.  Best attorney can be bought.  Best stocks can be bought.  Best investment can be bought.  I believe that you can also buy an island if you have money (and make a small country)...  So, money it is.  Get Rp.1,000,000,000,000.- (or US$100,000,000 or about three tons of gold or a shopping mall) in assets.  Don't laugh.  There is a saying:  put ur hope high in the stars...well, at least you don't fall to dirt if you don't reach it (arrive at the moon comes to mind).  :D  I read that Warren Buffet started with only US$100, and you can google his wealth now yourself (I'm sure it is more than my target).  So...yes, Sir, it is achieveable.  As Einstein put it:  "The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest."  (as long as you put the gun away from you, it work for you, not against you - beware credit cards)  I run an excel sheet.  With a compound interest of 20% per annum and additional capital of Rp.10,000,000.- yearly (inflated 10% per annum), I can reach my goal in more or less 50 years.  That's when my age is 77.  And I will get my first billion in 13 years (I'm 40), 10 billions in 24 years (I'm early 50's), and 100 billions in 37 years (I'm mid 60's).  Make sure:  one, inflation don't hit me.  two:  currency depreciation don't hit me.  three: 20% per year is achieveable.  I can see only one vehicle right now with 20%:  the stock market, but more to come (property might only get me 5-6% pa now).  I got 50%+ in a good month.  With a good money management, I can get by with 20% per year, no matter what. (hoping many good IPOs in year to come so I won't rip off fellow traders, as they rip me off sometimes, we are at war!)  So bear with me at this (my wife including).  For currency and inflation, I prefer gold/property/business than cash deposit to harbor the money not gambled in the stock market.  And by the way, with 3.5% per month, credit cards' interest is 42% per annum, should I open one card-business?

Still in this very life, a good family (and community), where everyone lives in harmony.  This is the middle of the "all for money" and "all for afterlife" approach.  A family is balance between both.  Why?  A family needs money but also needs love.  Only one of them won't sustain a family...  Money with no love...broken family.  Love with no money...worse.  So, bear with me extremist.  (I'm not one of you)

The second, afterlife.  This is where no numbers can go.  Whatever my money in the end, all that matters is the impact it caused upon this world.  With three tons of gold, I certainly weight the earth a little bit more with my ego. :D  Just kidding.  No gold can follow me to the afterlife, only my deeds (good, bad, good and bad, or not good nor bad).  I can't count this one, and the best is the last one.  With money you can do only good deeds, but not the "not good nor bad" deeds.  And it all still depends on the intention behind it.  At this, even with three tons of gold, all people, you and I, whatever ur religion, are equals.  Well, at least I'm going to heaven.  I think that is enough for now.

In a nutshell, my life's goal is to be a "trillionaire family-man that goes to heaven". (are you with me?)

So... what to do next year to achieve that?
  1. Prepare for a child. (welcome, son/daughter!)
  2. Raise a harmonious family. :D
  3. Fill the capacity for this bimbel.
  4. Expand the business:  another bimbel (branch), a valuation office, a design office. (all three in a year? let's see...)
  5. Acquire another property. (with the business)
  6. Add more capital and get 20% interest on the stock market (good IPOs, please...).
  7. Buy a bigger aquarium for the ever-growing arowana. (Just kidding!)
Of course, a goal must be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timed).  One and two can't be measured easily.  Three to five have already had a number in it.  Only six concerns with money.  My target is to put at least Rp.100 million in the stock market by the end of next year.  Wish me luck.

Comments welcome.

Monday, December 21, 2009

BUMI dan LPKR

ANTM dan MEDC

ADRO dan AALI

Year Trading Review dan Adaptasi Trading Style

Jika tahun 2008 kemarin style trading medium term menggunakan band atas dan bawah Bollinger Band menyelamatkan saya dari wipe-out di stock market, bahkan bisa untung sedikit, tahun ini style yang sama berakibat banyak loss opportunity yang seharusnya bisa didapat.  INDF dan BBCA adalah dua penyesalan terbesar dimana saya ambil di BB bawah, lalu jual di BB atas, memang untung besar, tapi jika ditahan...  (silakan cek sendiri chartnya)  Namun kalau BUMI, ANTM, LPKR, BLTA tidak dibegitukan dari awal, saya pasti sudah habis sekarang.  Memang manusia tidak ada puas-puasnya...

Saya banyak perhatikan saham tambang, perbankan, BG7 untuk kesempatan tradingnya, dan second/third liner namun beberapa sektor yang tidak pernah saya lirik malah menghasilkan gain lumayan.  Tahun depan, selama MA masih bentuknya begini (20 di atas 50), maka style akan saya rubah (kembali) ke MA-following.

Namun memang, tidak ada yang bisa menebak arah pasar.  Ini salah, itupun salah.  MA following berbahaya kalau pasar sedang sideways atau turun, dan saham-sahamnya pun berbeda. (lihat kasus2 di atas)

Di Indonesia ini banyak sekali "pengalih perhatian"/diversion dari trading template yang sudah dibuat.

Di bulan November dan awal Desember 2009 kemarin ada dua kali perpotongan garis MA, yang membuat saya menjadi ragu, apakah mau mulai sideways lagi, tapi di satu-dua minggu ini pasar tampaknya masih menuju ke atas.

OK, ini trading template tahun depan (asumsi market tidak neko2 amat):

Tidak menyentuh BG7 lagi. (high risk)

Minimalisi menyentuh second/third liner, dan saham perusahaan rugi. (bye2 LPKR, BLTA, FREN)

Ini selusin saham jagoan saya (per sektor):
CPO:  AALI, SGRO.
Astra:  ASII.
Bank:  BBRI, BBTN (I know, baru IPO), SDRA*.
Consumer:  INDF. (volume sudah tidak mendukung, tunggu koreksi)
Komunikasi:  TLKM. (hati2 sideways)
Infrastruktur:  PGAS.
Semen:  SMGR, INTP.
Tambang:  PTBA, ADRO, ANTM*, TINS*, MEDC*, INCO*.

Note: *perlu konfirmasi

Perhatikan MA-nya, terutama yang hijau (MA 50).  Yang dicari adalah yang bentuknya seperti ini:
Chart for Astra Agro Lestari Tbk (AALI.JK)

Chart for Adaro Energy Tbk. (ADRO.JK)

Yang ini perlu konfirmasi lagi:
Chart for Aneka Tambang (Persero) Tbk (ANTM.JK)

Chart for Medco Energi International Tbk (MEDC.JK)

Sedikit lagi bisa menjadi bagus gambarnya, baru saya akan masuk.

Yang begini jangan lagi:
Chart for Bumi Resources Tbk (BUMI.JK)

Chart for Lippo Karawaci Tbk (LPKR.JK)

Penutup, semua tulisan di atas adalah hasil pengamatan saya sendiri, tapi hasil akhir tetap di tangan masing-masing trader.  Semua di atas bukan merupakan rekomendasi karena saya tidak bisa mempost cara saya memanage posisi.

Thanks for reading.

Bukan Doktrin Rahasia

Buddha quote (AN 3:129; I 282-83):
Ketiga hal ini, para bhikkhu, dilakukan diam2, bukan secara terbuka. Apakah ketiga hal tersebut? Urusan dgn perempuan, mantra para brahmana, dan pandangan salah.
Namun ketiga hal ini, para bhikkhu, bercahaya secara terbuka, tdk scr diam2. Apakah ketiga hal tersebut? Rembulan, mentari, serta Dhamma dan Vinaya yang dibabarkan oleh Tathagata.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Preparation for A New Year Resolution

I know, New Year is still about two weeks, but it is better prepared now than making it in a haste. It's a process of reviewing, and targeting (again). For some reason, I also refer to my last blog at Friendster: here. The tone there is more romantic somehow (read it, you'll see), full of hope and "young".

Here, it is more mature and the tonality is not as hopeful, not anymore.

Did I really "harden" this year?

What I'm looking for? Of course, my last year's resolution. I actually forget whether I put it in a book or online, but I'm sure it's there somewhere. I'll post when I get it.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Entrepreneurship

I think everyone that is in business at one time or another is feeling what I am feeling now. The feeling of loneliness, fear, no security, uncertainty, hasty anticipation, and others that I never felt when I am still working and living paycheck to paycheck. These things that deter one from starting his own business somehow... And I felt it several times before, but now, it is feeling so great.

Being able to manage my time as I see fit caused me more burden than ever and there comes the usual procrastination. Even here some things such as administration and money management is essential but it is not fun. In business, it is not only about getting as much as possible, but it is also about cutting cost, and keeping the business principle and mission in line.

Being able to try out new ideas also means that many more ideas are not working at first, but I have to keep trying and fixing things as it goes.

The dice has been casted. There is no turning back. Now I have chosen this road and I'm going to stick with it until I reach my goal here.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

State of The World (Part I)

As I observe the state of the world and Indonesia silently, I came up with several revelations:

Things that is thought to be good is not so good if not used in moderation. We see the industry in general. It's a fact that every decade there is always an economic crisis looming ahead. Why is that happening all the time? Factories' goal is to maximize production to satisfy the demand so that the owner got maximum profit. Many businesses are built for the purpose of generating profit alone. Well, sometimes catasthrophe strucks and the supply is too much. See the CPO and oil last year. What happens next is too much supply and the owner is at risk of a loss. Well, owners are smart-ass, so instead of taking the loss to himself, he can drop it at his workers. We see layoffs to cut cost. Workers, knowing nothing that his piece of work, can't do nothing but cling to his social security, or join the revolution. The climate suddenly heats! Scary...

Medical professions are concerned with preservation of lives. In past, a deformed child just die. Nothing can be done to save him. Now, it is a different story. Every parent want his child to live. If he has the money, he can make an effort to save his child from early death. What happens is overpopulation. The world's population has doubled more in 200 years that in the previous two million years. That is insane! More population drives the land prices up the roof (see Japan), and drive those with out so much luck to live in a bad housing. Nature has it's own ways to cope with it. Catasthrophe, epidemic is two of them.

Over-industrialization and over-population caused new problems: nature over-exploitation, alineation, and city over-building. The climate here in Jakarta is so hot now, when it is supposed to be a rainy season, and when it rains, flood comes. Over-building. I need not explain about nature over-exploitation because it is sounded everywhere without any effort to stop it. People need paper, so cut the wood more! Stop it please. Alienation comes to worker that never see the result of his work and just get a minimum salary with the "added value" goes to the owner. And the worker tries to assimilate more capital so that he can exploit other workers, compounding the vicious cycle. Many times he failed and become bitter, and want to start a Revolution.

(I'm trying to think in material world when writing this. Like Spinoza, I might be materialist on the outside but idealist on the inside, so bear with me...)

Einstein once said something like "A problem can't be solved by the state of mind that you're in." means, I must transcend this thought first somehow. Again, and again.

Think of it. Find the solution.

Start small.

With yourself.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

This Is It (Michael Jackson)



1,2,3,4
This is it, Here I stand

I’m the light of the world
I feel grand

And this love, I can feel

And I know, Yes for sure
It is real


And it feels as though I’ve seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me, yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with you eyes
But you say you’re gonna leave it for yourself
Oh
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please just understand

This is it
Like I said
I’m a light of your world
run away
we can feel
This is real
Every time I’m in love yeah I feel

And I feel as though I’ve known you since a thousand years
And you tell me that you’ve seen my face before
And you said to me that you don’t want me hanging around
many times wanna do it here before
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please understand

This is it
I can feel
I’m the light of the world
This is real
feel my song
we can say
And I tell you feel that way

And it feels as though I’ve known you for a thousand years
And you said you saw my face yourself
And you said want to go with you all the while
And I know that it’s really for myself
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please dear understand

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on dear please understand
Oh yeah

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Brain...


The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost

9


A reminder: Technology can destroy humanity. It has, and it probably will again.

Taking my shots when I'm still burning




Thursday, October 15, 2009

Live or Die

Live or Die

I wonder how to live my life sometimes
With monsters going in and out
With darkness blinding my sight
With the light beating only inside
With sages and wise men telling things far away
With the soul yearns for freedom

Why?

What is life worth living?
What is life worth dying for?
I'm on the edge
With the grim reaper waiting...

There is no middle path
It's living or dying
It is right or left
It is walking his path or her path or your path
It is history or future
It is golden cage or open wilderness

Oh, I chose the latter
And I left the other for another day
Quitters can win
They just never talk about it
Using a pencil to cut down the oak tree
Sometimes perseverence don't pay
Climbing the castle to find it's vampire's

It's living or dying.
It's giving or sucking.
It's mine or theirs.
It's hero's or bandit's.

Life is
not black or white
but left or right
not a straight path
but a maze
whether I make the choice
Or too lazy to think for myself

Bang!
Awakening
one day I realize
the fork is near
a choice has to be taken
and bear the risk
oh I'm very afraid
leaving the golden cage
to the wilderness in front

but...

but...

now, this bird can fly
and I'm not alone
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

(by: Ace, 2009)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

We Weren't Born To Follow (Bon Jovi)

YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY_RY6CBfCI

This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles
This one goes out to ones in need
This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical
This ain't about no apology
This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry
This road was paved by the winds of change
Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
We weren’t born to follow
Come on and get up off your knees
When life is a bitter pill to swallow
You gotta hold on to what you believe
Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow
And that your saints and sinners bleed
We weren’t born to follow
You gotta stand up for what you believe
Let me hear you say
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, ooooohhh, Yeah

This one's about anyone who does it differently
This one's about the one who curses and spits
This ain’t about our living in a fantasy
This ain’t about giving up or giving in

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
We weren’t born to follow
Come on and get up off your knees
When life is a bitter pill to swallow
You gotta hold on to what you believe
Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow
And that your saints and sinners bleed
We weren’t born to follow
You gotta stand up for what you believe
Let me hear you say
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, ooooohhh, Yeah

Let me hear you say
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, oooohhhhh, Yeah

“Guitar”

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
We Weren’t born to follow
Come on and get up off your knees
When life is a bitter pill to swallow
You gotta hold on to what you believe
Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow
And that your saints and sinners bleed
We weren’t born to follow
You gotta stand up for what you believe
Let me hear you say
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, ooooohhh, Yeah

taken from: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bon-jovi-lyrics/we-weren_t-born-to-follow-lyrics.html with several (many!) corrections.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I MOVE ON

I won't stay in this static stance for a long time.  It has been a long three years and I always wait for weekend since a few months ago.  Now it's the time for me to move on.

I've prepared for this day since the first day I enter my career, that it is only for temporary.  I AM NOT MY CAREER.  I never identify myself with any labels this world can label, expect naturally, I am my parent's boy and my wife's husband.  But that is the only two things that feels real.  For a long time, I'm a also a part time investor, business owner, gamer, writer, aikidoka, friend, etc.  I'm a lot of of people into one.  But this "staff" role is taking about 95% of my energy and leaving the 5% to share between the others.  Why?  Because I'm a naturally morning person, about 60% of my work is done before 11 am.  And after 6 pm, I almost shut down.

The so-called "sacrifice" is not worth it.

I can't concentrate in the office is the other reason I need to move on.  Despite the bad office layout and lack of privacy and the constant interruption from my colleagues, I also have about several things in my mind at a time.  For example, my wife, the stock market, my business, my apartment rent, etc.  And I can't focus on any of them in the office, or just the one-hour-time-at-lunch to do it all.  It's painful.  And also stupid in a way, I think.

I should have move on a long time ago, but I still need the financial support and eventhough it's meager, but I still manage to do things with my salary.  Not anymore.  Since the business is expanding, I don't need any salary to support myself anymore.  And that's it.  That's the trigger for me to move on.

Wherever you go, go with all your hearts, Confucius once said.  I go with all my hearts now.  Leaving nothing behind.  Starting today.  I'm no longer a "staff".  I'm what I naturally be.  A human with many interests and the will to pursue that interest, with all my heart, to the limit.  If, there is a limit after all.

And guess what, the one closest to me is supporting this decision 200%.  That's why I love her so much.  :D

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Rose (sung by Westlife)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxRCMgEv4W0

The Rose (Amanda McBroom)

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Memories

I've just looked at some tagged photos in my facebook. They are full of times that I've forgotten. Times in the school,.in the college... Times when I'm "stuck" with my condition. Maybe the time when the only choice I have is to finish the school/college... still... it was a good time. It triggered me... how I wonder now of who I was. I was someone else not me, and I'm going to be someone else again. So, who am I??? I'm just a soul fleeting temporarily in this space-time... I come and go, never stay the same.

I wonder when the future me see me now, what will he think?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Claiming the Calmness

Something I rarely do these days because too busy doing something else...
It feels liberating.  Should do more.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

About Coffee


Watchmen



***spoiler warning***

Firstly, this is not a review of "it's a great movie!  go see it NOW!"  No.  This is what I think of the movie.  I've read the story before.  It was great and made with a great deal of thought.  From first up until the last scene is related if you pay attention.

This movie may not appeal to a big audience.  Some will find it boring, some think it is too long.  This movie's running time is approximately 2.5 hours.  And, it's certainly not Harry Potter.  It is rate for adults, prepare for some blood and gore, strong language, and sex, and philosophy.  Get your mind ready.

My advice if you really want to see this movie is this:  sit back, relax, this is going to be a long winding road, not for just the ending, but how to come into the ending.  Enjoy the world and the various nuances of the characters.  The background.  Feel the ambience.  It's in a brink of a World War III.  Luckily, it has not happened up until this blog post is made. (25 April 2009 by Earth's time)  And this movie, for me, is a very good way to spend my time.

This movie is about good and bad, right or wrong, and principles.  Some characters went by their principles far to tightly, while the others adapted to the situation.  Another character care less about humanity, another care too much.  The good guy may not seem to be so good.  The villain is motivated by noble intention.  It is twisted and very... humane.  What is it deep inside that matters most.  Even in death, sometimes it is not that bad to die a good death.

What do I mean by that?  Note: beyond this is most of the plot.  Stop reading if you haven't watched it and want to enjoy it yourself.

The movie follows Rorschach (and his journal) in his investigation of the death of The Comedian, a part of a superhero team called Watchmen.  But the movie also gives many angles and timeframe, sometimes without any notice of a flashback.  The reason of his life and death is the ultimate subject of the movie.  Rorschach is also a very interesting character with strong principles.

Jon, a Godly character, does not give a shit about human.  Jon does not care, or just too busy.  Nice character Jon is.  He is the ultimate villain in disguise in this movie.  He only cares if it intrigue his intelligence.  Hmm...  feels like someone is very similar to Someone. 

Adrian cares too much and went the extremes with actually only slight chance of success...  I wouldn't call his solution "brilliant", because his solution may cause chaos, not peace like in the movie.  But anyway, his intention is noble, and out of no other way to do it, it is acceptable to some extend...  "Sacrifice the lives of millions to save billions."

Nite Owl and Laurie is like most of us.  I think I can identify with Nite Owl...

So, it is a bad solution, but it is a solution.  A more elegant approach will need Jon, but He doesn't care (or He just doesn't exist in real life?).  It is a question of human's nature versus... miracle.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

cuma saat ini

lahir... sudah terjadi. mati... pasti akan terjadi. hidup ini terasa terbatas waktunya. sempit... inikah penderitaan??? di antara lahir dan mati... ada hidup. di dalam hidup, ada momen ini. dapatkah aku mengerti? dapatkah aku bebas? sekarang, aku sudah lahir... tak ada lagi guna menyesalinya. nanti, aku akan mati... tak ada guna memikirkannya sekarang. tapi sekarang, aku masih hidup! sekarang, aku masih hidup! aku tidak ingin hidup seribu tahun lagi. tapi aku ingin hidup di saat ini. cuma saat ini.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Perbedaan Ubud dan Jakarta

Panas banget di Jakarta hari ini.  Mungkin suhunya ada 40 derajat Celcius!  Setelah melakukan riset menyeluruh dan membandingkan antara Ubud dan Jakarta, ini adalah hasil risetnya:

Hal // Ubud // Jakarta
1.  Suhu // Sejuk. // Panas.
2.  Pemandangan //  Sawah, art.  // Beton, asap knalpot.
3.  Polusi // Minimal. // Maksimal.
4.  Orang2 // Ramah. // Galak.
5.  Pemikiran // Mendalam. // Dangkal.
6.  Pekerjaan // Man master his work. // Man slave to his work.
7.  Harapan hidup // 80-90 tahun. // 40-60 tahun.
8.  Penyakit // Berasa sembuh.  //  Berasa sakit.
9.  Jalan2   // Asik. // Panas bo!
10.  Malam // Suara alam (jangkrik).  // Suara TV.
11.  Hiburan // Tari Legong dan Barong.  // Tukul.
12.  Suasana hati // Rileks n happy. // Stress dan tertekan.

Tercatat ada lebih dari 40.000 orang asing sudah memilih untuk tinggal di Ubud karena pilihan yang logis, beberapa di antaranya adalah seniman.  Alasan mereka di antaranya sudah saya ungkapkan di atas.  Harga tanah di sana juga masih masuk akal (Rp.20-35 juta/are).  Fasilitas sekarang sudah ada internet, bank dan ATM, saluran TV, restoran, pasar, sekolah, Primagama, dll...  Mungkinkah ada dari kita yang mau menyusul?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Knowing

*spoiler warning*

Just watched the movie.  I like the visuals: the plane crash, the train wreck, the spaceship (or spacecrystal), and the end of the world.  But the philosophy?  Still shallow.  Watch it for a popcorn movie, but not for the message, if there is any.  The movie talked about "determinism" and "randomness" early.  The same question asked by many people, "Is there a god?"  "Are we meant to do what we do?"  "Is there fate?"  "What is our purpose in this life?  Is there any?"

In the whole movie, Cage is just following the prophecy, proving to us (audience) that the whole world is determined by someone or something.  In the end, it proves to be the "angels" (by the looks of them, shiny with "wings").  I also avoid the word "alien" on purpose.  So, these angels knows when, where, and how many will die.  They tell the girl on the start to write the coordinates down as if to warn Caleb and Abby (if that's their purpose on the whole prophecy thing).  And they told Caleb in the end to write something again (unclear for what purpose, maybe only to remind Cage on the door, I don't know).  But it keeps the movie going anyway.

IN THE END, after the whole determinism thing: "You can't change a thing."  "Your fate is predetermined.", Caleb is given a FREE choice!  WTF!  To choose to go with the angels (plus Abby), or to stay with Dad and face armageddon.  And Caleb choosed Abby rather than dad.  What a son...  (I don't know if his choice is predetermined also...)

And if you want to kill everyone else on earth in the first place, why bother?  So humans are only pets for angels.  Look at the nice and shiny Caleb and Abby, just like my shiny guppies and rainbowfish in my aquarium.  Is that your "purpose" as if suggested by the movie?  For beinga good pet and breed until your master said that you are too polluted and wiped you and your world out?  (crash my aquarium wall)

So, philosophically, this movie is f*cked-up.  But the entertainment value is good, as long as you keep your head straight, like as if you watched "The Master" on RCTI (bull-shitted for three hours), or listen to the doomsday propechy either by Mama Lauren or someone else (and hopefully it hasn't doomed you life in a way).  Plus, Diana is acting superbly.  It's only entertainment, for those who are curious.  If I know the story will go like that, I won't see the movie in the first place!  But after watching it, I have no regrets either.  A good thing to pound into in my blog...  Hahaha...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Question about “Self”

Something disastrous triggered this thought to me today.  It’s not that it’s a big disaster, only a “usual” circumstances in domestic life, a quarrel with my girlfriend.  It is actually quite sometimes, I mean, we did this thing once in a while, and everytime, all end well.

But this time… it triggered something more…deep inside.

Usually, we, men can play nice like they said in the magazines and movies, to listen to the ramblings of our girlfriend.  But most of the time, they are actually not making more sense than a two-year-old baby learning to talk.  So, how can you understand such creature is out of question.  But if you insist, the answer:  you just can’t.  Woman is incompherensible.

I’ve gone through some phases in my life that I actually almost “found” myself.  I’ve gone to meditation retreat, regular meditation session, even in a part of my life, nightly meditation before sleep.  I practiced a martial art, aikido.  I enjoy reading a lot of books.  I met people, from the owner of a very big company in Indonesia, a very creative foreign entrepreneur, up until preman and trashman.  I fought with a drunkard once.  I lost.  I know a thing or two about myself… and I don’t like it to be disturbed too much.

I don’t intend to write in this direction actually.  If you read more, it will be more like a ramblings.  But, I hope (really hope), you and I can get something out of this.

Actually tonight I wonder… what if I lose everything?  This “self” is made of many components.  I am a worker.  What if I lose my job?  I’m a part of a family unit.  What if I lose them?  Will “I” still be the same?  I have a girlfriend (future wife).  What if I lose her?  Do I lose a part of mayself?  I have some assets, money, things, fish, etc…  What if I lose all my possessions?  Am I still the same me?

I should be.

Because tonight, I felt like I can lose all things dear to me, but I won’t lose the real “me”.  Somehow I just felt it.  Somehow I learned to let go of everything.  It became harder to fight with me this way because a man that is prepared to lose everything can’t be threatened by anything, anything at all.  All that is left is one:  Love.  It started by a sense of self-love.  A feeling that I care about my own well-being.  Then followed by a sense that this is a choice I made to also care about something/someone.  I won’t lose someone in my responsibility area, not because I need/want her, but because I want to see her in a better light.  I want to see her grow, to flourish, to strive, to be happy, to be content with herself.  I will do everything in my strength not to make sure I achieve those goals, but just to push a positive aspect, one at a time, eventhough it looks messy right now.  Someday, it will pay off.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

12:27

Sudah lewat tengah malam...
Bukannya aku tidak bisa tidur... mungkin karena tadi tidur siang sebentar makanya malam2 begini masih segar.

Dari tadi buka2 FB, jarang2 banget sih aku lakukan...  ternyata, dilihat-lihat, memang menarik menelusuri jejak langkah temen2...  bisa2 nggak update kalau nggak buka FB sekarang2 ini...

Watchmen kenapa belum ada di bioskop ya?  Padahal udah mau nonton...  tadi ada DVD bajakannya, tapi pasti deh masih juelek banget.

Malam2 tadi makan es Thousand Island bersama Jojo, hmm... manis...

Tadi baru aja ambil foto prewed.  Aku akan post di FB/di sini satu-satu tiap minggu.  hehehe...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(by Robert Frost, 1915)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Menyambut Imlek

Wah, bentar lagi Imlek lageeee.  Angpao lagi.  Tapi makin tahun rasanya angpao makin tidak berasa...  hahaha...
Tadi abis belanja baju celana nih ama si yayang.
Imlek hari Senin minggu depan.  Moga2 taon depan dunia makin maju, jangan krisis melulu, dan bisnis gue juga makin maju donk...